October Nostalgia

By Aayana Anand, Blog Staff

This entry is for everyone that’s ever cried to a TikTok captioned “Nostalgic Pictures You Forgot Existed” or something synonymous to it.

Nostalgia is complicated: All it takes is a picture, song, etc. for it to spontaneously boil over. Confronting it is hard, but using a pen as a vehicle to transport your blundered thoughts from your head to paper provides an antidote. Similarly, I’d like to formally share my journal entry from today. Here’s to the people, places, and things that make you reflect on your past, good, bad, or ugly.

I hear trains everywhere I go
I see shopping carts basting in snowy slush
I eat sugar plums and cookie cake
I sing in a Catholic school choir and improvise my identity with every verse

There’s something that makes me weak about my youth. I miss it, but I praise its demise.

I’m trying to pick flowers in a thunderstorm and dance until my shirt sticks to my skin–I resent this longing. It doesn’t actually offer me any peace, rather, it manipulates me into seeing white in black. Not like there isn’t, just that it’s painful and complicated. It opens a pandora’s box of beautiful, confusing, innocent, experimental, cringy, euphoric memories that I’d rather not label further. 

Maybe writing will help me heal
At least until I hear Christmas music again


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